I squinted and stared in disbelief this morning, but my eyes did not deceive me — I’ve made it to my first Mini-Goal, having lost a whole 10 pounds since Christmas. I was prepared to be disappointed but apparently my attention to what goes into my mouth has continued to pay off. My next goal is to lose another 10 pounds, which will bring me down to where I was about a year and a half ago when I lost my job, which sent me into a bit of a spiral, health-wise. If I can accomplish that by the end of February, I will be satisfied. If I accomplish even more, all the better!

Here’s another bit from the Initial Assessment document I wrote up. According to the program, it’s important to assess why you want to lose weight. Sometimes you may find that not all the reasons really have to do with weight, but may relate to other parts of your life. Anyway, without further delay…

Reasons for wanting to lose weight:

• To fit into my clothes without looking stupid.
• To fit into my pants.
• To be able to wear my tights w/o wrecking them, getting sores.
• To alleviate back and hip problems.
• To make it easier to carry myself around.
• To take up less space in bus seats, plan seats, etc.
• To reduce my risk for Type II diabetes.
• To look younger, less frumpy.
• To look more attractive.

I wanted to continue posting things I wrote up as part of my Initial Assessment, which starts out the CBT program I’m following.

Here’s what I wrote about eating habits. Mind you, this describes my habits before I started the program. Still, I think it’s useful to remember what habits I’m trying to move away from.

Eating pattern:

I generally eat breakfast and dinner at home. For lunch I either eat something I’ve brought, either leftovers or something specifically bought for lunch, or I go out to a school food vendor or a local restaurant. I also have snacks at work, either things I bring in from home or things others have brought to the office. I drink a cup of coffee and often have a bagel or something in the morning. For dinner I normally either cook or put together a cold meal. I eat my leftovers as well, since often when I make soup or something there’s enough food for a few days. At night I usually have some type of snack, sometimes very late.

Amounts eaten:

My breakfast is usually fairly small, like toast or a bagel and coffee, some fruit. For lunch I sometimes overdo it, making up for breakfast perhaps. The worst is when I go to Saba and not only eat too much (salad/soup, major entrée, plus an alcoholic beverage) but spend too much ($15-20). For dinner it varies but I don’t think I go way over. I do, however, eat too many snacks and sometimes large quantities, like big bowls of popcorn.

Food choice:

I’m usually vegetarian and eat a lot of fruits, vegetables and grains. I eat a lot of carbs. My biggest problem is probably the fact I don’t eat that much protein, which I need to work on. I have a major sweet tooth, which I normally address by keeping sweets out of the house and drinking a lot of diet (no sugar) soda. I however have a couple of sweets a week, like a cookie at work and something at weekly breakfast with my friends.

Loss of control:

There are certain situations where I tend to go overboard. These include buffets, parties, visits home to family, holidays, and visits overseas. Sometimes I am just so tempted by delicious foods I don’t often get to try, so I’ll eat a bunch of pastries or chocolate cake or cream puffs or fatty meat. I hope to avoid this sort of thing in future by exerting some control, being more selective about what I really want, how much I can really “afford” to eat, and eating more slowly.

What I’m doing now:

I’m already on the 1,500 calorie/day diet and doing well at following the recommendations given in the book. I’m doing breakfast at home, lunch at work (but no more Saba unless I pick something reasonable to eat), and dinner at home. In addition I have an afternoon and evening snack allowance.

Other problems:

I’ve never done the whole puking or diuretics thing. Yuck!

Did my weekly weigh-in this morning and found I’m on track. So far I’ve lost 6 lbs. What’s funny is that this is about all the weight I lost the entire time I was working out at the gym for eight months straight. And I did this in two weeks just by following a calorie regime.

I’m not starving myself either, but just learning to eat reasonable portions and consider calories instead of just the contents of the food. At this point I even seem to be developing a rhythm, with breakfast, lunch, dinner and three snacks (morning, afternoon and night), with about the same amount of food, calorie-wise, each time, and I feel satisfied after each meal, now that my stomach is getting used to it.

Later this week I’m going grocery shopping and stocking up on all the foods that I’ve found to be the best choices as far as “repeat” meals, like grapefruit, cottage cheese, yogurt, eggs, etc. I hope that by keeping all these things in stock I will avoid the temptation to just grab whatever food is handy.

I think thought this NPR story was pretty interesting:

Hotel Maids Challenge the Placebo Effect

One of the big mistakes people make, I think, is to put “exercise” in one compartment and “regular life” in another.

What do you do when you’re really hungry right before bed? And you’ve totally maxed out on your allowed calories per day? And you know it’s a very bad idea to eat right before bed? I’m thinking that drinking a cup of tea would be good. Any other ideas?

Continuing with the initial assessment document I wrote up Saturday:

Prior Attempts

General account and effect:

I feel like I’ve been trying to lose weight for the past ten years.

I’ve gone on various exercise and diet kicks over and over. I haven’t used any fad diets or diets out of a book, but have tried to simply eat healthy using guidelines like those from the USDA, cutting out fat and sugar. These diets have never really taken calories into consideration, or if they did, they had very high calorie caps, like 3,000. The diets I chose were usually based on the notion of quality over quantity, although I now see that quantity is important.

In addition to addressing my weight by dieting, I’ve gone on exercise kicks. The most significant was in 2006, when I had a membership at a local gym and worked out 3-4 times a week for about eight months. I was very dedicated and even did things like a 6-week “boot camp,” took up running, did weight-training, etc. During this time I became very fit and toned but was discouraged by the fact that I lost hardly any weight. Everyone kept telling me I was “gaining muscle” and that’s why I hadn’t lost weight, but I was discouraged. I tried doing more weight work, because that’s supposed to be more helpful for weight loss that aerobic work, but I still didn’t get anywhere.

Finally I got a new job and stopped going to that gym. I went to another gym for about a month later in the year but gave up on that fairly quickly as well, because again I wasn’t losing any weight. However, my “diet” during that time wasn’t helping me, so that was probably the reason I got “stuck,” not because exercise didn’t help.

Weight management and weight regain:

I’ve rarely put any effort into weight maintenance. The one time I can remember doing it is after I lost about 20 pounds at UGA. I was careful to watch my diet for about a year after that. I remember I didn’t eat pizza for a long time because I was still avoiding fat. However, eventually I got loser and loser with my restrictions and soon was up to no good. Since then the general pattern has been for me to lose some weight, give up, and then eat anything and everything, not just giving up, but rebelling against the whole diet idea. When I make a mistake, I don’t stop myself and then make up for it, but instead I go crazy in the other direction. I am determined not to do that this time.

I’ve been following the 1500 cal/day regimen for a week now and it’s going pretty well. However, the last couple of days I’ve gone a little bit over, according to the calculations of BuddySlim’s food journal. When I do my review next Monday I will look at which things I should perhaps mark as “not worth it” in terms of calories. One thing that really surprised me in terms of calories was olive oil and canola oil. Kind of annoying, as those types of oils are good for you in the sense of general health. I’m also surprised that an apple has 100+ calories. Anyway, overall things are going well and I think on average I am still doing about 1500 a day, and the average is what I’m supposed to be concerned about, not that I hit 1500 exactly each day.

Oh, and on the weight front, according to what I logged Monday, I have already lost a couple of pounds, which surprised me. I am trying not to make a big deal of this, since according to my program it’s weight loss trends (last four weeks) I’m supposed to care about, not week to week numbers, but still, it’s encouraging!

I just wrote up a 6-page document that’s my  “initial assessment” as part of  my CBT-based weight loss program.  I thought it would be cool to include various sections of it to this blog. Here’s one section and later I’ll add other ones.

Development of the weight problem

How and when the weight problem began, what was happening at the time:

Began gaining weight as soon as I moved to Georgia. Managed to lose 20 lbs. during that first year, but that was the last time any diet I did was ever completely successful. 

My weight hovered between 180 and 200 for a few years, then probably around 2004 when I began self-employment, it began to go up. My frequent travel to Europe and pastry habit led to overeating, although I remember during either 2004 or 2005 going on a diet and losing enough weight that I fit in some of my jeans. 

By 2006 my weight was about 215. I began an intensive program of exercise, but didn’t lose much weight. In late 2006 I lost my job and became very depressed. I got a part-time job at a food market, where I ate a lot of things I shouldn’t have, like pizza and cheese sandwiches, and gained more weight. 

In early 2007 I got a good job and also got treatment for depression, but my weight gain continued, probably because I ate out too much and didn’t get enough physical activity. I tried several times to limit portions and keep track of my food but I wasn’t totally committed and therefore it failed. Even though I now feel much healthier mentally, I am stuck will a lot of extra weight. 

Subsequent course 

Subsequent evolution of the problem: 

See above.

Pattern of weight change: 

I would say that for the most part my diets only last a couple of months before I get distracted and/or give up. I usually only lose a few pounds, maybe five or ten, and then I quickly regain it and gain yet more weight. I think I have fallen into the trap of giving up on my diet any time I make a mistake; I’ll have a piece of cake and instead of deciding to make up for it by being good and trying harder, I’ll have three more pieces of cake.

Highest and lowest weight (at this height): 

Lowest 155 (age 16) 

Highest 235 (last week, age 33)

In college I was mostly in the 160s, 170s, then I went up to 190-something my senior year. I’ve been at or above 200 for at least five years.

So I’ve managed four straight days of keeping on track with the 1500 cal. daily diet.

I’ve actually never done a calories-based diet before, only ones that had to do with avoiding certain types of food or eating mostly one kind of food. One of my big problems over the past few years is that I’ll eat healthy, natural food, like a ton of fruits and vegies and whole grains, but that’s the problem — I eat a TON of it. And I’ll toss in snacks and “treats” that add on calories. I think I must’ve been taking in at least 3,000 cal. daily previously, and often more I bet.

So now I’m working on way less and it’s fine because I’m determined not to think of it as a “hardship” but as a necessary thing I have to cope with. Furthermore I’m working to make sure that I *enjoy* everything I eat, so I’m using all my cookbooks, being creative, thinking about choices rather than just opening the fridge and popping whatever I see into my mouth.

So far the yummiest thing I’ve had that was “diet” food was a red snapper dish I made Friday night. The best dessert I’ve had was crushed canned pineapple, which if you get the kind that’s *just* pineapple is very low in calories but really delicious. See the log below for today’s food.

Food Log