I haven’t posted here since I had my nasal surgery. Should get back to it! Not like I have any reason to hide, since I’ve continued to lose weight. As of this week, I’ve now lost 17 lbs. since the end of December. I continue to follow a 1500 cal./day diet, tracking all my food and using Cognitive Behavioral Therapy to help myself along. So far I’ve stuck to good choices and have even managed to fit in special occasions and some treats without too much hassle, since I planned for these events and was able to compensate. I’ve lost weight every week since I started. I hope to get down to 215 by the end of the month, which will be 20 lbs.

Well, my weekly weigh-in has me smiling — again. 222! That’s exactly what I wanted it to be, although I told myself not to be disappointed if it was a little higher. I’ve done well.

To see what affect this has had, I just put on a pair of “fat pants” that I got a few months ago. They fit, but not as well as I’d like, which was disappointing since they’re Lane Bryant, Size 18. I wore them but always with a longish shirt that would cover up where it was pulling funny. Good news! They fit much better now around the weight and belly, which was the problem area before. I will wear these tomorrow to work.

Yay!

I’ve found that resisting temptation has been pretty easy thus far. Just today there were three instances where I could have easily gone off track but pretty much said “No thanks” moved on: 1) bowl of hard candies in my office break room, 2) Hershey’s Kisses and Sweet Tarts at a team meeting at work, and 3) free beer and cookies at a volunteer meeting.

How was I able to say no? Well, my calorie limit is 1500 cal. a day and basically I wind up being ruled by logic. One Kiss is probably as many calories as a whole grapefruit. A grapefruit is delicious and takes five or ten minutes to eat. A Kiss is down your throat before you even realize it, and yet the calories are in your body. Now a bottle of beer, on the other hand, is probably as many calories as my whole lunch or the main part of dinner. So if I have a beer, I can’t have dinner without going over the limit. And dinner is more important than beer. I can eat four or five things at dinner or I can have some cookies and a beer. Of course the cookies and beer lose, on the scales of logic.

That’s really how it works. It’s true, I *can* eat some “junk” food, but since by and large such food is high in calories, I can only have a small amount of it — or else I have to sacrifice eating a lot of lower calorie food which would be more satisfying anyway.

This all plays into the fact I’m using cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) as the basis for my weight loss plan. A large part of CBT is forcing yourself to reason instead of letting your feelings overpower you and drag you to places you don’t want to go — depression, undue guilt, and even overeating. Here I’m using reasoning to tell myself that I can have a nice dinner and snacks or give in to an impulse to have a “treat” and then end up hungry. I don’t want to be hungry!

Tomorrow: This diet makes me feel like I’m eating all the time, much more than usual. But I’m only taking in about half the calories.

I squinted and stared in disbelief this morning, but my eyes did not deceive me — I’ve made it to my first Mini-Goal, having lost a whole 10 pounds since Christmas. I was prepared to be disappointed but apparently my attention to what goes into my mouth has continued to pay off. My next goal is to lose another 10 pounds, which will bring me down to where I was about a year and a half ago when I lost my job, which sent me into a bit of a spiral, health-wise. If I can accomplish that by the end of February, I will be satisfied. If I accomplish even more, all the better!

Here’s another bit from the Initial Assessment document I wrote up. According to the program, it’s important to assess why you want to lose weight. Sometimes you may find that not all the reasons really have to do with weight, but may relate to other parts of your life. Anyway, without further delay…

Reasons for wanting to lose weight:

• To fit into my clothes without looking stupid.
• To fit into my pants.
• To be able to wear my tights w/o wrecking them, getting sores.
• To alleviate back and hip problems.
• To make it easier to carry myself around.
• To take up less space in bus seats, plan seats, etc.
• To reduce my risk for Type II diabetes.
• To look younger, less frumpy.
• To look more attractive.

I wanted to continue posting things I wrote up as part of my Initial Assessment, which starts out the CBT program I’m following.

Here’s what I wrote about eating habits. Mind you, this describes my habits before I started the program. Still, I think it’s useful to remember what habits I’m trying to move away from.

Eating pattern:

I generally eat breakfast and dinner at home. For lunch I either eat something I’ve brought, either leftovers or something specifically bought for lunch, or I go out to a school food vendor or a local restaurant. I also have snacks at work, either things I bring in from home or things others have brought to the office. I drink a cup of coffee and often have a bagel or something in the morning. For dinner I normally either cook or put together a cold meal. I eat my leftovers as well, since often when I make soup or something there’s enough food for a few days. At night I usually have some type of snack, sometimes very late.

Amounts eaten:

My breakfast is usually fairly small, like toast or a bagel and coffee, some fruit. For lunch I sometimes overdo it, making up for breakfast perhaps. The worst is when I go to Saba and not only eat too much (salad/soup, major entrée, plus an alcoholic beverage) but spend too much ($15-20). For dinner it varies but I don’t think I go way over. I do, however, eat too many snacks and sometimes large quantities, like big bowls of popcorn.

Food choice:

I’m usually vegetarian and eat a lot of fruits, vegetables and grains. I eat a lot of carbs. My biggest problem is probably the fact I don’t eat that much protein, which I need to work on. I have a major sweet tooth, which I normally address by keeping sweets out of the house and drinking a lot of diet (no sugar) soda. I however have a couple of sweets a week, like a cookie at work and something at weekly breakfast with my friends.

Loss of control:

There are certain situations where I tend to go overboard. These include buffets, parties, visits home to family, holidays, and visits overseas. Sometimes I am just so tempted by delicious foods I don’t often get to try, so I’ll eat a bunch of pastries or chocolate cake or cream puffs or fatty meat. I hope to avoid this sort of thing in future by exerting some control, being more selective about what I really want, how much I can really “afford” to eat, and eating more slowly.

What I’m doing now:

I’m already on the 1,500 calorie/day diet and doing well at following the recommendations given in the book. I’m doing breakfast at home, lunch at work (but no more Saba unless I pick something reasonable to eat), and dinner at home. In addition I have an afternoon and evening snack allowance.

Other problems:

I’ve never done the whole puking or diuretics thing. Yuck!

I’ve been following the 1500 cal/day regimen for a week now and it’s going pretty well. However, the last couple of days I’ve gone a little bit over, according to the calculations of BuddySlim’s food journal. When I do my review next Monday I will look at which things I should perhaps mark as “not worth it” in terms of calories. One thing that really surprised me in terms of calories was olive oil and canola oil. Kind of annoying, as those types of oils are good for you in the sense of general health. I’m also surprised that an apple has 100+ calories. Anyway, overall things are going well and I think on average I am still doing about 1500 a day, and the average is what I’m supposed to be concerned about, not that I hit 1500 exactly each day.

Oh, and on the weight front, according to what I logged Monday, I have already lost a couple of pounds, which surprised me. I am trying not to make a big deal of this, since according to my program it’s weight loss trends (last four weeks) I’m supposed to care about, not week to week numbers, but still, it’s encouraging!

I just wrote up a 6-page document that’s my  “initial assessment” as part of  my CBT-based weight loss program.  I thought it would be cool to include various sections of it to this blog. Here’s one section and later I’ll add other ones.

Development of the weight problem

How and when the weight problem began, what was happening at the time:

Began gaining weight as soon as I moved to Georgia. Managed to lose 20 lbs. during that first year, but that was the last time any diet I did was ever completely successful. 

My weight hovered between 180 and 200 for a few years, then probably around 2004 when I began self-employment, it began to go up. My frequent travel to Europe and pastry habit led to overeating, although I remember during either 2004 or 2005 going on a diet and losing enough weight that I fit in some of my jeans. 

By 2006 my weight was about 215. I began an intensive program of exercise, but didn’t lose much weight. In late 2006 I lost my job and became very depressed. I got a part-time job at a food market, where I ate a lot of things I shouldn’t have, like pizza and cheese sandwiches, and gained more weight. 

In early 2007 I got a good job and also got treatment for depression, but my weight gain continued, probably because I ate out too much and didn’t get enough physical activity. I tried several times to limit portions and keep track of my food but I wasn’t totally committed and therefore it failed. Even though I now feel much healthier mentally, I am stuck will a lot of extra weight. 

Subsequent course 

Subsequent evolution of the problem: 

See above.

Pattern of weight change: 

I would say that for the most part my diets only last a couple of months before I get distracted and/or give up. I usually only lose a few pounds, maybe five or ten, and then I quickly regain it and gain yet more weight. I think I have fallen into the trap of giving up on my diet any time I make a mistake; I’ll have a piece of cake and instead of deciding to make up for it by being good and trying harder, I’ll have three more pieces of cake.

Highest and lowest weight (at this height): 

Lowest 155 (age 16) 

Highest 235 (last week, age 33)

In college I was mostly in the 160s, 170s, then I went up to 190-something my senior year. I’ve been at or above 200 for at least five years.

Here’s a link to the 44-week program I wrote up yesterday:

Excel file or PDF format

Enjoy!

For Christmas a co-worker gave me a blank journal. Before I found BuddySlim, I was going to use it for my food and weight loss diary. However, today I thought of a better use for it: it’ll be my “good eating” book. Basically what I want to do is write down foods and recipes I come across that are delicious and also good diet foods, i.e. low in calories.

I actually know a great deal about nutrition and generally eat in a healthy fashion, but I know that when I get distracted or rushed or stressed I sometimes blank out and make bad decisions about food. I’ll get hungry and say to myself, “There’s nothing to eat in this house!” Then do something like eat half a cup of peanut butter for “dinner.” To stop this, I’ll look to the book.

The way I’m doing it is that I’m writing each food or recipe and putting a big label on it for food type (i.e. Snack, Fruit, Dinner, Breakfast, etc.) and then making a note of the food or where to find the recipe. For example:

SNACK, FRUIT
raw cranberries

SOUP
Spanish Potato and Garlic Soup, p. 97, Moosebook Low-Fat Favorites

BREAKFAST, FRUIT
grapefruit

So when I can’t figure out what to eat (”There’s nothing!” or “I can’t decide!”) I can just flip through the book and get some options. Do I want a soup? Something for breakfast? Desperate for a healthy snack? The book will have it ready.

This book will also help me in my grocery shopping, as I can flip through it and quickly come up with a meal plan and therefore a grocery list.