I just wrote up a 6-page document that’s my  “initial assessment” as part of  my CBT-based weight loss program.  I thought it would be cool to include various sections of it to this blog. Here’s one section and later I’ll add other ones.

Development of the weight problem

How and when the weight problem began, what was happening at the time:

Began gaining weight as soon as I moved to Georgia. Managed to lose 20 lbs. during that first year, but that was the last time any diet I did was ever completely successful. 

My weight hovered between 180 and 200 for a few years, then probably around 2004 when I began self-employment, it began to go up. My frequent travel to Europe and pastry habit led to overeating, although I remember during either 2004 or 2005 going on a diet and losing enough weight that I fit in some of my jeans. 

By 2006 my weight was about 215. I began an intensive program of exercise, but didn’t lose much weight. In late 2006 I lost my job and became very depressed. I got a part-time job at a food market, where I ate a lot of things I shouldn’t have, like pizza and cheese sandwiches, and gained more weight. 

In early 2007 I got a good job and also got treatment for depression, but my weight gain continued, probably because I ate out too much and didn’t get enough physical activity. I tried several times to limit portions and keep track of my food but I wasn’t totally committed and therefore it failed. Even though I now feel much healthier mentally, I am stuck will a lot of extra weight. 

Subsequent course 

Subsequent evolution of the problem: 

See above.

Pattern of weight change: 

I would say that for the most part my diets only last a couple of months before I get distracted and/or give up. I usually only lose a few pounds, maybe five or ten, and then I quickly regain it and gain yet more weight. I think I have fallen into the trap of giving up on my diet any time I make a mistake; I’ll have a piece of cake and instead of deciding to make up for it by being good and trying harder, I’ll have three more pieces of cake.

Highest and lowest weight (at this height): 

Lowest 155 (age 16) 

Highest 235 (last week, age 33)

In college I was mostly in the 160s, 170s, then I went up to 190-something my senior year. I’ve been at or above 200 for at least five years.

So I’ve managed four straight days of keeping on track with the 1500 cal. daily diet.

I’ve actually never done a calories-based diet before, only ones that had to do with avoiding certain types of food or eating mostly one kind of food. One of my big problems over the past few years is that I’ll eat healthy, natural food, like a ton of fruits and vegies and whole grains, but that’s the problem — I eat a TON of it. And I’ll toss in snacks and “treats” that add on calories. I think I must’ve been taking in at least 3,000 cal. daily previously, and often more I bet.

So now I’m working on way less and it’s fine because I’m determined not to think of it as a “hardship” but as a necessary thing I have to cope with. Furthermore I’m working to make sure that I *enjoy* everything I eat, so I’m using all my cookbooks, being creative, thinking about choices rather than just opening the fridge and popping whatever I see into my mouth.

So far the yummiest thing I’ve had that was “diet” food was a red snapper dish I made Friday night. The best dessert I’ve had was crushed canned pineapple, which if you get the kind that’s *just* pineapple is very low in calories but really delicious. See the log below for today’s food.

Food Log

Here’s a link to the 44-week program I wrote up yesterday:

Excel file or PDF format

Enjoy!

For Christmas a co-worker gave me a blank journal. Before I found BuddySlim, I was going to use it for my food and weight loss diary. However, today I thought of a better use for it: it’ll be my “good eating” book. Basically what I want to do is write down foods and recipes I come across that are delicious and also good diet foods, i.e. low in calories.

I actually know a great deal about nutrition and generally eat in a healthy fashion, but I know that when I get distracted or rushed or stressed I sometimes blank out and make bad decisions about food. I’ll get hungry and say to myself, “There’s nothing to eat in this house!” Then do something like eat half a cup of peanut butter for “dinner.” To stop this, I’ll look to the book.

The way I’m doing it is that I’m writing each food or recipe and putting a big label on it for food type (i.e. Snack, Fruit, Dinner, Breakfast, etc.) and then making a note of the food or where to find the recipe. For example:

SNACK, FRUIT
raw cranberries

SOUP
Spanish Potato and Garlic Soup, p. 97, Moosebook Low-Fat Favorites

BREAKFAST, FRUIT
grapefruit

So when I can’t figure out what to eat (”There’s nothing!” or “I can’t decide!”) I can just flip through the book and get some options. Do I want a soup? Something for breakfast? Desperate for a healthy snack? The book will have it ready.

This book will also help me in my grocery shopping, as I can flip through it and quickly come up with a meal plan and therefore a grocery list.

Took the time to map out the entire weight loss plan. It only took about an hour.

I went through the CBT book and followed all the guidelines for when to start the various “phases” of the plan, what to cover in various sessions, etc. It’s a 44-week plan overall. The first 30 weeks focus on weight loss, plus eating healthy, incorporating physical activity into daily life, and improving body image. The remainder of the program focuses on weight maintenance, i.e. learning to stick to the weight I reach. The plan I have also notes specific worksheets/exercises I need to do and sections of the book to review. Throughout the plan there is weekly weigh-in, review of self-monitoring (food diary, which I’m doing through BuddySlim) and setting of goals.

If anyone would like to see this plan, here is the Excel file (also available as PDF).

I feel very accomplished!

Earlier I posted some less than flattering shots. Now here are a few nicer shots, shots showing me at my best, over the last 5 years. I’m mostly just trying to show full-body shots, as well as outfits I used to wear that I don’t fit into any more. There are many, many more pics, which I’ll post from time to time as inspiration.

OK, that’s all for now. What’s funny about all of these pics is that at the time they were taken, I considered myself already overweight and those clothes too tight. Which I was and which they were! But instead of acting on that, I let it go and gained about 20 lbs. more.

I just sent an email to my two closest friends explaining the program I’m starting up. They are constantly harping on me about weight and diet issues so I want them to be on the same page, rather than contradicting and criticizing. Anyway, I thought I would just paste the email onto this blog, as it provides a nice summary of the program. The book I’m using as my guide, BTW, is Cognitive-Behavioral Treatment of Obesity: A Clinician’s Guide by Cooper, Fairburn and Hawker, published by Guilford.

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I’ve gotten a jump on my weight loss program (why wait?) and while I have not yet written up the complete plan, I wanted to share the rules and principles with you, so that you understand. I really need you to understand what the program is so that you don’t try and interfere or contradict.

1. CBT.
This program uses Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, the same approach my therapist used to help me with depression. It is a complete program of changing the way one thinks about food and about dieting — and changing the way one *acts*.

2. Food
While it is psych. based program, there are obviously rules and guidelines involving food. However, the program is much more comprehensive than that, because in many cases even the best diet will fail if your thinking hasn’t really changed.

3. Calorie Cutback
There is a strict 1500 calorie per day limit. It is possible for me to eat more on one particular day, but only if I *plan* it, by eating less on days leading to that or days afterward. The average daily should be 1500.

4. Food Restrictions
There are no “forbidden” foods but I must account for everything I eat, so obviously I need to stay away from high-calorie foods, whether because of fat or sugar or large portions.

5. Weigh-in.
I will have a weekly weigh-in. Probably Monday nights.

6. Sessions.
I will have a weekly appointment with myself to go over my “homework,” progress and problems for every week. The program has a structure I need to follow. Everything will go either in a journal or on my BuddySlim.com blog.

7. Exercise v. Activity
This program does *not* emphasize exercise as a primary means of losing weight. It encourages building regular physical activity into your lifestyle, especially once the weight has been lost and one needs to maintain that weight. There is no problem with doing exercise, of course, but that is not the focus of this.

8. Weight loss, weight goal.
The program is designed to help me lose 1-2 lb. a week and should that work, I will lose about 30 lb. over 30 weeks. My goal is to reach 200. The program discourages dieters from trying to diet “all the way” to their most ideal weight, and recommends finding a moderate goal (10-15 %). Once that goal is reached, the aim is to stop and *keep* that weight. The goal should not be too low or you are likely to just get fat again.

9. Maintenance
Weight maintenance is a big part of the program. As explained, the idea is to reach a sustainable weight and stay there. This is accomplished by following a “weaning” program, where I learn to manage my weight without such a strict diet. I can add another 100 calories a day and finally stop logging my food.

10. Future
I have to keep weighing myself weekly, to be sure I am maintaining my weight (not up, not down) and making corrections as appropriate. The program includes complete directions on how to make corrections before you “slide

I dress very well and for the most part look good and blah blah blah… Just want to say that I don’t think I have nearly the body image and self esteem problems of most people. I swear my problem is that I think I look much BETTER than I actually DO. I love clothes, love getting dressed up, am confident in showing myself off… but then I see the photos — at least lately — and go “OMG, what was I thinking, I look like such a cow!” Here are a few such pictures. In a couple of them, I *thought* I was looking good, but um, no, not really.

That’s all for now. Maybe later I’ll post the thin (or thinner) pics.

I won’t be starting my official weight-loss program, using cognitive-behavioral therapy, until the start of the year, but I am “warming up” to it by cutting back my daily intake to 1500 calories in advance. This way I will get over my cravings before I even start, which hopefully will make things easier.

Another reason I’m starting now is that I ate so irresponsibly over Christmas. I pretty much ate whatever was in front of me, so I had tons of fruitcake, candy, cookies, cheese, butter, gravy, the works. I even had eggnog with whipped cream, which I know is a huge no-no. But I can’t be mad at myself, I can just say, “No more of that!” In future I will plan out a way to deal with tempting occasions like holidays, family visits, etc. I can have some of the food but shouldn’t eat everything in sight!